My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
