Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
