I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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