Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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