If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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