drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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