NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
