Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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