K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
