It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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