I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
