I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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