why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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