she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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