He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
