I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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