Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
