Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize