don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
