i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize