i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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