If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
