used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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