I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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