love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
