Your face is a jimmy john
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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