What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
