i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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