one two three fourrrrnication!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
