woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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