I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
