You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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