You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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