And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
