some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
