Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
