I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
your room smells of hookers.
And success
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
