Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When are your genitals available?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
