You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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