First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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