kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
