I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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