So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
