Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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