well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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