Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if only i could text you this smell
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
