He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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