I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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