I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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