Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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