were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
