Someone shit on the floor
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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