I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
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We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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