Got a toothbrush?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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