Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
