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Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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