From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
