We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
