I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hippo gnu deer
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
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No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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