Is it normal to miss your booty call?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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