no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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